


Hoo-ha

by severity_softly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Genderfuck, M/M, Other, this was meant to be funny not good okay guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:55:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5708920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/severity_softly/pseuds/severity_softly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus doesn't know any sexy words for his new genitals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hoo-ha

**Author's Note:**

> Genderfuck. Originally published August 2007, after I was inspired by the hilarity that ensued on LJ after I asked about using medically correct terms for genitalia in fanfic. Sooooo much crack, you guys.

Severus arched up, meeting Remus' body and rocking against it as much as he could manage with Remus pinning his wrists.  "So... damp.  So unbelievably fucking wet."

"Yeah?"  Remus kissed him, dragging Severus' lower lip through his teeth before moving to clamp them down over the taught muscle along Severus' neck.  "How else does it feel?"

"Like a... contracting... clenching... not sure," Severus managed to moan in between heavy breaths.

Remus lowered himself and now his cock was pressed against Severus' groin. When Severus rocked up, the hardness brushed against his clitoris and he trembled, gasping.  "Oh, my God!  That's... amazing..."  

"What?"  

Remus was enjoying that Severus was enjoying his new body a little too much, there would be plenty of time for him to describe it later and Severus was not a man known for his patience.  "Christ, Remus, just fuck me!"

"Where? Tell me," Remus growled the command.

"In my hoo-ha! Please!"  Severus twisted his hands against Remus' grip, about to attempt to gain further friction against his groin when Remus pulled back without a word.  He opened his eyes to see Remus looking at him quizzically.  "What?"

"Did you just say 'hoo-ha?'"

"I--" Severus' eyes flicked away, staring at a point on the ceiling for a moment as if it would give him the answer as to why this had thrown Remus, but only looked back at Remus to repeat, " _What_?"

 

It was certainly a _valiant_ effort, the way Remus held in his laughter until doing so became physically painful, but Severus didn't appreciate it regardless.


End file.
